Friday, April 24, 2015

The Vehicular Equivalent of a Refrigerator

Let’s be honest up front.  Minivans aren’t sexy or fun.  They are the vehicular equivalent of a refrigerator; they are meant to accomplish a job and everything else such as options, style, color and lighting are icing on a fairly bland package.  We only really notice when the thing doesn’t work.  Think about it, if your refrigerator stopped working, you would care a great deal, but on a daily basis it isn’t really at the forefront of your thoughts.  A minivan is just like that.  We don’t lust for it like a super car, we don’t worry whether it is spotless, we wouldn’t take it to the valet to show off, the thing just needs to work really well so we can go about the rest of our life with efficiency and purpose.  If we can make that bland package a little more attractive then that is great, but not at the expense of the intended purpose.

            When I began the 7-day test of the Kia Sedona I was met with ridicule in my office.  “Tim you are testing a minivan?” “Wow, life is really over.” “Why not something cooler?”  I didn’t really care too much because my purpose was to approach it as a family man, which I embrace wholeheartedly.  That is what minivan makers need in a customer, someone who sees the utility and doesn’t really care about the other crap.  The most important thing I learned in this test is that minivan owners can drive down the road with their heads held high because they already know something those other people don’t - they are driving the vehicle many people need but never get over their insecurities to purchase.  In a lot of ways, minivan drivers are wise individuals who probably have a great deal of self-esteem because they don’t care what other people think.  Heck, embrace having a family and buy that refrigerator on wheels!

            We decided to make this test a road trip and headed to Disneyland for the weekend with Grandma and Grandpa in the van with us.  The first thing they pointed out was good positioning of hand holds for getting in and out of the van which they said was an important feature in their book.  Plus one for Kia.  We got on the road and first thing I noticed different than my SUV was peace and quiet.  Not quiet in terms of road noise but quiet from the back seat…  I will admit that my daughter hates riding in the car, probably because she doesn’t enjoy being constrained in the seat for long periods, but the roomier atmosphere combined with her more upright position in the new car seat made her more happy which in turn made us more happy.  Plus a huge one for minivans in general!

            On the highway I was surprised by how responsive the van was and the ease with which I was able to maintain SOCAL fast lane speeds on I-5 (I won’t say a number, but if you’ve driven around there you know what I mean).  The engine, transmission and steering invoked confidence while transporting some of the most precious people in my life at relatively high rates of speed.  Our living room on wheels did the job competently and comfortably.  What more could I ask for?  Well, “style and gizmos” you say…  This one has you covered.  In fact, the feature I was most impressed with is the radar adaptive cruise control.  I kid you not, from the moment I got on the freeway in Anaheim to the moment I got off the freeway in East San Diego, I did not touch the accelerator or brake!  All I had to do was adjust the following distance a little and pay attention as the van kept a steady speed and adjusted with the traffic ahead of me.  I hope to see this feature trickle down to other cars at a lower price point in the coming years. 

Besides the road trip, I also had the rest of the week to run errands, commute back and forth to work and generally test the van in many different circumstances.  If you are a parent I want you to think about the last time you went grocery shopping or to a big box store.  When you came out with a kid or two on your hip you approached the car with the daunting task of belting in a hyper tornado that contorts in ways the human body shouldn’t be able to, doing it again (and again in some cases) while simultaneously trying not to crack the eggs and drop the milk you just bought.  Once all the fun is in the car, you then have to navigate out of the busy parking lot with dozens of other grumpy people who all think their time is more valuable than yours and have less patience than your kids in the back seat who are now yelling to put “that frozen song” on the radio.  You merge onto the freeway into the abyss that is our interstate system, potholes and all.  Wouldn’t you want something to make this all a little easier?  Why have a vehicle that makes the experience more stressful or difficult? 

Straight to the point, the minivan is our answer…  Now, back to the problem.  Minivans are what our parents drove.  Minivans are what old people drive.  Minivans make us feel like we are actually a parent.  That is why station wagons were replaced by vans several decades ago and this is now why SUVs are so popular.  They are the newest iteration of “something different than my parents drove.”  Now, obviously not everyone feels this way, but it is a major sentiment among people my age who are starting families of their own.  When I talked to several co-workers about doing a van review they made fun of the idea and called me an old man.  I realize it was in jest and still love them, but it perfectly displays the millennial mindset about the minivan.  That was until they rode in the van for a group trip to get lunch.  They were not only impressed with the space and versatility of the van, but were pleasantly surprised by how Kia’s quality is comparable to other makers at this point.  I completely agree.


Ultimately, the decision to get a van is something each parent will have to grapple with, however short or long the discussion, I would venture to say we will all think about it at some point.  Some will honestly not need one, others will delude themselves into thinking that an SUV will do the job better because they might “need” to go off-road once, while others will admit they wouldn’t be caught dead in a minivan.  All are perfectly acceptable responses and you are obviously allowed to do with your money as you see fit.  I for one will be looking more seriously at minivans in the future.  If they can all provide the same level of comfort, convenience and (a little bit of) style, then sign me up.  Soccer dad status, here I come!

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