The Changing Meaning of Birthdays

Today is my 32nd birthday and I sit here, as I imagine many people do, pondering the last 32 years and assessing my life.  I distinctly remember on my 20th birthday, riding the bus around campus while in college thinking what my life might be like in my 30's.  Would I be married by then?  What about kids?  Would I be in the Navy?  Even a momentary thought - would I still be alive?  I don't want this to be a purely sappy look back moment but I think we routinely forget just how fleeting life can be, and that it is important to be ever grateful for the small and large blessings we have been granted.

Now I consider the next 10 years.  What will my life be like in my early 40's.  What job will I have at that time?  Will my kids still run to me with reckless abandon?  Gasp - will I still have my hair?!  All these big and small things come together in one realization.  Birthdays mean something very different as time passes.  As a kid we look forward to them as a way to celebrate with cake, candy, presents and friends while secretly (or not so secretly) hoping for time to pass more quickly so we can finally become a "big person."  As an adult we begin to realize that birthdays (for many people) are actually an acknowledgement that we are still alive and that life is something to be cherished.  I don't fear getting old, I don't fear gray hair, I don't fear the increasing progression of time.  What I do fear is a moment that I hope never happens - the moment I realize I wasted time, cared too much about what other people think, or avoided the path less travelled for the wrong reasons.

Birthdays are ultimately just another date on the calendar, much like the rest.  What makes them special is the way we acknowledge that date as a marker in time and place significance on it in our own way.  32 is going to be a year of reflection and gratitude as I enter what I believe is a new chapter in my life.  I finally feel like a real adult, not just some scared kid pretending to be a grown-up wearing his Dads shoes.  That realization is liberating in many ways - in others it is terrifying.  Here is to another year of excitement, another year of amazing memories, another year of watching my amazing kids grow into the world.  I can only imagine what's in store for the next 10 years - but I am excited to share that time with the people I love and continue with this experiment into adulthood.