It is 11pm on the night before your first
birthday; in about 5 hours you will officially be one year old. I am sitting in
the dark of our family room typing away on my laptop (a machine us old people
used to write things on and you probably think is obsolete by now). I can
hear the gentle hum of your sound machine through the monitor next to me, the dryer is going and the clock ticks away as always. You don't
realize this yet, but you are my everything. Our little family means the
world to me and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you and Mom.
Witnessing you grow up this last year has
been the most precious time of my life. The love I feel in my heart is
like nothing I could have imagined before you came into this world. It is
funny to think about my adult life before you, what I thought fun was or how I
spent all that "free time." You make life infinitely more
interesting, you make Mom and I an even stronger couple, and you make me a
better man. Thank you for the last year of joy, excitement and surprises!
Now allow me take this moment and look
into the future. Obviously it is impossible to know what will happen in
the next 17 years, but humor your old man for a moment and let me dream.
On your 18th birthday I see an amazing young woman full of life,
surrounded by friends and family (some siblings perhaps?), and getting ready to
embark on the next chapter of her life, whatever that might be. When you
were one, your personality was already big and you were always smiling. I
can't wait to see that smile each morning and it will never get old.
You will probably notice that my version
of the future isn't very specific and that is intentional. Right now,
your future can be anything. You are nothing but walking potential right
now and you will be in charge of what happens over the course of your life.
Mom and I will always be there to guide you, but I have every faith in
you and know that you will make your life something spectacular. Whatever
you do, always remember that Mom and I are extremely proud of you and want
nothing more than you to be happy and healthy.
Let me leave you with a few worlds of
wisdom before you roll your eyes and leave this page. When I was 18, I
thought I knew everything. I had life locked down, knew where I would be
in 20 years and had an opinion on pretty much everything. What I didn't
know was that life would throw so many curve balls at me that I couldn't
possibly predict my future and now I can tell you that at 30 I know less about
life then when I was 18. My point is that you should never be so closed-minded
as I was to not allow for more possibilities with life. Now don't get me
wrong, I have no regrets, but I can only imagine what might have been if I was
just a little more open to taking some bigger chances, living just a little
more on the edge, or (gasp) making a few more mistakes. Be open to life,
have faith it will all work out and be willing to take some risks.
Next, never forget family. You may
have a huge group of friends, co-workers, and classmates, but none of them will
be there like family. If there is one thing you can always count on, it
is the love of the people who watched you grow up, the people who love you
unconditionally, and the people ready to listen when you need to talk. Cliché
be damned, family is forever; you are stuck with us, accept it and keep in
touch with everyone.
Finally, I want you to always remember to
take the time to marvel at the mundane. When you were one, you would
spend hours in the front yard looking at leaves, blades of grass and twigs.
With each new specimen you would declare "wooooow, oooohhh!"
You would point at a passing bird with wonder in your eyes and excitement
in your face looking at me as if to say "Dad look, I found something
new." I wish we could all be so amazed at life, because the world
around us is full of wonderful things that we often pass by or take for
granted. Remind yourself every so often to take a new route home (don't
be late or Mom will worry), explore something new, and just be a kid again.
Your old softy of a dad is getting all
misty eyed, so it is time to pack it up and get to bed. I can hear you
stirring in your crib now, which means I may have missed my first window of
sleep. I am on my way sweetie; my shoulder is always ready for you to
rest on.
Love always,
Dad
Daddy will always be your very first Valentine!
1 comment:
What a beautiful letter.... Hope you are well mate.
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