It has been more than 4 months since my last post and that is because a great deal has happened since then. In the last several months I made my transition off Active Duty and completed my first semester of classes in the MBA program at the University of San Diego.
As that transition was occurring, my boss encouraged me to apply for a civilian position essentially doing the same job I had been doing for the last 3 years, teaching new Naval Officers how to drive ships and be an effective Division Officer. My wife and I decided to see what the job offered and we had a big decision to make. Ultimately, we thought the job was a good place for me to continue working while furthering my education and potentially create a stepping stone for other positions in the future. It was a difficult decision for me, because I had mentally prepared for the full time daddy position and looked forward to spending time exclusively with my daughter. Luckily, the last few months turned out great for my family and I am grateful for the support of many people who make our life a little easier each day.
Childcare is undoubtably the major factor that many families have to address when deciding whether both parents will work. I am obviously saying something many people already know, but I think this is a factor that most single people (or couples without children) underestimate; I know I did! My wife and I decided that we would continue in home child care with a Nanny because our daughter was already accustomed to her surroundings. It was at that point I realized we would be exceeding certain amounts of pay for our Nanny and would need to deduct taxes, incur payroll taxes, and also have other costs such as workers' compensation insurance. I had no idea that in home care would create so many potential issues.
So, lets be honest. I believe there are plenty of people out there who pay Nannies "under the table," and that is their choice (and risk) to do so, but I wanted to make sure we did things by the book to not only protect our family but because it is the right (legal) thing to do. Having said that, I couldn't believe the amount of forms and laws that go into being a home employer! It was at that point I decided to get help and hired a payroll company from care.com to help. BEST DECISION EVER! Not only do I pay my two Nannies (one morning and one afternoon) through direct deposit, but they take care of all the tax forms and advise me on things such as insurance, state/federal laws and forms needed. It is definitely worth a look if you want to reduce headaches at the end of each quarter and year.
With the logistics of child care completed, I started back at my job and now fully understand the challenges that millions of working parents go through on a daily basis. The one factor I couldn't predict was the emotional aspect of going back to work. After a couple months of time at home (while between active duty and being hired back) I had become accustomed to life at home and enjoying the joy that my daughter brings on a daily basis. The only thing that made me feel comfortable leaving her was knowing that we have two of the best Nannies I could ask for keeping our daughter stimulated, healthy and thriving throughout the day. I now drive home anxiously awaiting the smiles and squeals of joy that greet me when I walk through the door.
The "decision" whether to work is not a decision for most people, and I am part of a fortunate few who has the luxury to choose, which I am very grateful. I don't take that choice lightly and my wife and I will continue to ask ourselves: do we both work, or not? Time will tell as life goes on...
