My "Dilating Machine!"

Wow, where do I start with this experience?  I guess we will go chronologically...

My wife went into labor on a Wednesday night.  She was able to cat nap through the first few hours of labor, which allowed me to sleep a bit too, and then early on Thursday the pain had gotten too much for her to stay in bed.  We got up and began walking, swaying, etc. to relieve the pain as best as possible.  The birthing class was very helpful in recommending positions and other activities to make the process a little easier.  We watched a couple funny movies to pass the time ("Idiocracy" and "What to Expect when You are Expecting").  She desired a natural birth so the doctor recommended staying at home as long as possible to ensure the hospital wouldn't intervene too soon.  I found this request by the hospital telling...  "Stay at home so we don't do anything unnecessary" was the way I took it.

At about 9pm on Thursday we headed to the hospital where she was admitted and continued labor.  Once settled into the room we became concerned because all the nurses and doctors were talking about the Baby "being flat."  I finally asked for an explanation and the nurse told us that the babies' heart rate should rise and fall around a baseline that indicates she is tolerating labor well and is getting a good flow of oxygen.  One thing that can make her flat, we found out, is dehydration.  Since my wife had been in labor over 24 hours at this point, her body was reaching exhaustion, and although we had been really conscious to push water during that time she was dehydrated.  She quickly took in 2 liters of fluids and the baby perked up.  It was a huge relief to know the baby was doing well.

The problem then became monitoring.  Since the OB was concerned about the baby's activity level, she mandated that my wife had to stay on the monitors which meant she was unable to get up to walk around and try to relieve the pain naturally through movement.  After a few hours in the bed reaching active labor, she looked up and indicated that the pain was too much to bear and needed the epidural.  I knew from the look in her eyes that she wasn't playing and this was serious.  By the time she got the epidural, she had been in labor for 28 hours and was over 6cm dilated.  A hero in my book!

Once the epidural kicked in and she began to feel better, the OB and nurse dubbed her "the dilating machine."  In less than 2 hours she went from 6cm to the start of pushing.  I was awestruck by how the body can adapt and overcome obstacles and my wife's resolve to keep focused on the baby was amazing!

Now, here is where I will try to keep the descriptive parts to a minimum...  I honestly was unable to stop watching as my baby was born.  I had been told by many guys to keep my focus on my wife's face because I "didn't want to see all that downstairs" but it was amazing to me.  I got to see the first glimpse of my babies' head as she progressed down the birth canal, to see her full head of hair emerge, and most excitedly, to see her move her head from side to side thus helping the delivery.  From the start of pushing to her delivery was only 35 minutes!  Everything happened so fast that it was hard for me to keep up with the action happening around us.  

The best sound of the night was my babies' cry!  When she came out and the OB placed her on my wife's chest, she immediately began to cry and move around.  What a relief after 32 hours of labor.  After I cut the umbilical cord, we focused on our new little girl and enjoyed the first hour of "skin to skin" contact before anything else happened.  After the OB had departed and we were alone with just the nurse, we were able to do the weight, height, Apgar assessment and get her cleaned up.  I then held my little girl for the first time and immediately fell in love.  I never knew you could love something so quickly, with such unquestioning certainty.  It was one of the best feelings ever.  

After delivery, we waited until shift change could happen and then were taken to the recovery room.  We were a little nervous because her crying didn't stop for about the first 2 hours of her life and although great to know she is breathing, it was a bit unnerving.

Now, from the guy's perspective at the hospital...  Almost everyone you come into contact with is a woman (nurses, doctors, lactation consultants, etc.) that has a lot of experience, so I quickly assumed the role of receiver of information and speaker only when spoken to.  The only thing I found need to speak up about was when advocating for my wife and asking the questions that I knew she would want to ask if she wasn't in so much pain.  If she needed something I took it upon myself to figure it out or get someone there ASAP to help.  A great example is the fetal monitor...  I became an expert at disconnecting, reconnecting and positioning those little monitors so she could move, sit up, stand up and walk around if allowed.  I also became an expert at swaddling and bouncing our girl to sleep.  

All in all, it was an amazing experience that I will never forget!

Baby's first picture

Recovery room

Swaddled and loving it!

'Twas the night before her due date...

Thank you to all our wonderful family and friends for supporting Rose and I through this amazing journey thus far.  Tomorrow is Rose's due date and we can report that she is doing well but STILL pregnant.  The baby is getting big and seems to be doing cart wheels in utero.  Below is a my rendition of a famous poem everyone knows.  Enjoy!

‘Twas the night before her due date, when all thro the belly

Not a contraction was stirring, not even that dinner PB and jelly.

The diapers were stacked by the changing table with care,

Ready for the poops that were soon to be there.

The daddy-to-be tossed and turned unable to sleep,

With visions of laundry, toys and bills piled in a heap.

And mama with her body pillow, earplugs and nasal strip

Had settled her head for an evening of pain in her hip.

When down in her belly there arose such a clatter,

I sprang out of bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the hospital we flew like a flash,

Tore down the road and made a mad dash.

The lights of the cars on the freeway in sight

Foretold hours of lost sleep coming that night;

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a beautiful baby so tender and dear.

With a little nose and big blue eyes,

I knew in a moment she was the most wonderful prize.

More rapid and loud than a thundering train,

She cried for her needs as if to exclaim:

“Now! Bottle, now! Paci, now! Blanket o’ muslin;

On! Daddy, on! Mommy, on! Auntie and cousin.”

As I realized the gravity of my new life’s mission,

the baby did not allow time to dawdle or weigh my transition.

Her cheeks were like roses, her belly so round,

She lay there all day making cooing baby sounds.

As I lay down to sleep many days having past,

I never imagined how time could go so fast.

But as my eyes close shut, my dreams for her begin to swirl,

Happy Birthday to her, my sweet baby girl.

Breastfeeding Class

Who would have thought that you needed to take a class to learn how to breastfeed?  I knew it wasn't a foregone conclusion that every woman breastfeeds but I figured it was pretty easy and there wasn't much to it.  I couldn't have been more WRONG!

My wife  signed up for a breastfeeding class upon the recommendation of several friends and family members.  When she asked me to go I joyously accepted the challenge.  3 hours talking about breasts… What heterosexual man wouldn't be intrigued?  What I got wasn't what I bargained for.

First of all, I must say that I was pretty proud of the male representation at the class.  Almost every pregnant woman had her partner there and the men were just as participatory in the class as the women.  Having said that, there were some moments where you could tell the guys got uncomfortable.  Talking about chapped nipples and colostrum is not sexy, lets be honest.  There is nothing like dissecting the anatomy of a breast or discussing what happens to a nipple when the child latches to make you look at breasts in a totally different way.

Then there was the one story that horrified most men in the room.   The instructor explained that when a woman who is still breastfeeding a child has an orgasm, it is possible for the release to cause milk to come shooting out of her breasts.  She knew a man that was covered with breast milk while his wife was on top.  Talk about scaring a man for life…  I guess you have to maintain your sense of humor during this process.

On the whole, the class was an amazingly interesting experience where I learned a great deal and now know that there is way more about breastfeeding then I ever thought possible.  This was yet another eye opening experience.  Each day I gain even more respect and deference to the women in my life for all the sacrificing they do to bring another human into this world.  My wife (and mother) is amazing!