The Nest

Baby's room... a sanctuary, a place of peace and tranquility for babe to learn, grow and rest their head.  It is also a place for daddy to put all the furniture together before the bundle of joy makes their appearance.  By now you probably have noticed that I make a lot of comments tongue-in-cheek.  Don't get me wrong, I loved doing our nursery, but that furniture can be a bear to put together!  That is, once you've decided which furniture to buy, order it and wait the 6-12 weeks for it to ship.  Then finally the store gives you a 10-hour window for the delivery on a day that the wife has already put together a sizable "honey-do" list.

Now Dads-to-be, I recommend the following: speak only when spoken to, listen to your wife and be very patient.  The expectations for junior's nursery are huge; your job is to think about safety, durability and to be the pack mule/handyman.  The lady of the house will change her mind a million times and that is fine.  Go with it and try to find the humor in moments where you are at the point of saturation.

Some things I learned going through the process:
1.  Baby furniture has 2 price points: cheap and expensive.  Really there is a third but that one is called "out of your league expensive."  Try to be as frugal as possible but remember that you are going to be trusting this furniture with one of the most important people in your life.  If there is one thing to get right, it is the crib, which have become increasingly regulated in recent years and are much safer.  Oh by the way, those crib bumper things are death traps now.  Apparently our parents were horrible people and wanted us to die (love you mom!).  The bottom line is that you can get pretty creative with anything except the crib.  For the changing table, buy a normal dresser and put a changing pad on top of it.  What else will you use that changing table for after your kids are potty trained?  At least in this case you will still have a usable dresser when your kids get older.

2.  Get the painting done early!  Choosing the perfect color will be her job, slapping it on the wall should be yours.  The fumes might make your pregnant wife nauseous and probably aren't very good for the baby.  Have her take a day away from the house and maybe spend the night with her at a romantic local hotel to let the fumes subside.  This kills many birds with one stone and, let's face it, builds major brownie points.

3.  Storage, storage, storage.  This means many things.  First of all, you are going to need to get rid of a lot of YOUR stuff.  Those college items from your alma mater?  Adios!  As Jeff Foxworthy said in his stand up, "When my wife moved in it sounded like a stewardess at the end of a flight as she talked to my stuff.  Bye now, bye, bye, thanks for coming, bye."  Now this is where a storage unit, unused closet or the garage comes into play.  Chances are that your man cave or office is now going to be the nursery so the faster you move the stuff out on your terms, the more you will keep!  Next, you need to think about where all this baby stuff is going to go.  The baby shower and other gifts will bring in about 6 different sizes of clothes your baby will go through in less than 2 years.  Get some plastic bins and start packing it away for the future.  Then you have to find a place for all those diapers, burp cloths, wipes, bibs, toys, etc.

4.  I completely underestimated the importance of the rocking chair!  They are all the same, right?  Haha, silly man.  First of all, they are "gliders" and there are so many options and differences that you could spend several weeks to find just the right one.  I am told that this piece of essential gear will be a life saver when the baby is fussy so I am going to have trust my sources. Don't freak out, but this is also most likely going to cost you.  I saw several for around $1000 in one store and none of them had rolling massage, a cooler, or anything you'd expect in a chair that expensive.  In the end, we settled on a Target glider that looks to be sturdy and is actually quite comfortable for about $200 (Target Glider).  Hopefully it will stand the test of time!

There are probably more things I could add to this list but until the baby starts using our nursery I am going to reserve judgement on how well we did preparing.  In a couple months I will probably look back at this post and realize how little I knew at this point.  But isn't that what makes this whole process fun?  It is all about the journey and not the destination!

Putting together IKEA furniture in college helped prepare me for this day! 

Baby stores!

How can something so small need so much crap?  If you have walked into Buy Buy Baby or Babies R Us lately you know what I am talking about.  Besides the lovely smell of baby powder and diapers (ever noticed how all babies smell the same?  More on that later…)  I was immediately struck by how many ridiculous options there are and how many items I never thought I needed immediately became a "must have."  Nose suction thingy? Check.  Rectal thermometer? Check.  $400 stroller? Gotta have 2!

The worst part… I had so much fun!  I am not sure how many Dads will actually admit this but doing the registry thing was way too much fun, if not a little stressful, and not because I got to play with that scanner thing.  It was a whole new world that I only had a little bit of experience through a younger sibling and nieces.  Doing the shopping brought my wife and I together for yet another challenge of compromises, decisions and sacrifices (on my part… j/k).  Not since the wedding did we have to make so many choices in such a short period of time.  Planning the wedding was challenge #1 for our marriage, 5 hours in Buy Buy Baby was challenge #2, 3 and 4…  In the best way possible.

Another crazy thing I noticed is the way retailers are marketing their products to Dads!  Want a Diaper Bag that doesn't scream "I love Vera Bradley hot pink?"  Check out www.diaperdude.com.  I found them at a local store and checked the website.  The inside cover of the bag I got has a check list of necessities; perfect for men that need a reminder every now and then.  The last item at the bottom of the list?  "Baby!"  I appreciate humor like this and say amen to the concept.

Now, about that baby smell.  After many hours of baby sitting and spending time with kids I always wondered why kids had the same smell.  Not poop, spit up or food, but something else I only thought came from diapers or powder.  Nope... today I realized the culprit!  I began doing the baby clothes wash before things get too crazy and opened that new bottle of sensitive baby laundry detergent.  Out came Eau de Baby in all its glory!  Is this what detergent smells like without all the "Gain Freshness?"  I had one of those moments in life where I felt like a mystery had been revealed.  Maybe I am just crazy, but I think those bottles of laundry detergent have made all our kids smell the same.

My final parting word on this topic is possibly the best tip.  There is a magical little book out there that made the entire shopping process a million times easier.  It is called Baby Bargains.  The intention of this book is to save you money but in my opinion it helped my wife and I save our sanity.  The book gives you a report card on each make and model of pretty much anything and even provides their "Good, Better, Best" in many of the categories to hit each price point.

Enjoy the shopping… And don't forget to check Amazon before you buy!

My checklist.

It's not a purse!  It's a shoulder bag for the kids...

You're Pregnant?

The moment I found out that I was going to be a father will be forever etched in my memory.  The idea of trying to get pregnant was still new and fun for Rose and I.  We weren't really "trying," we were just not actively preventing anything.  After a trip to a friend's wedding, Rose said she was late and feeling different.  I brushed it off a little and said we should wait a few days to be sure before doing a test.  After a short debate, we decided to stop at Target on the way home and pick up a pregnancy test because she wanted to be able to sleep that night.  In hindsight I agree with her, but let's not let her know I said she was right.

The pregnancy test aisle is one I can honestly say I never ventured down.  I was amazed at how many options there are for home pregnancy tests.  I figured it was an easy purchase…  WRONG!  After several minutes debating the merits of different options we went with some standard tests that claimed excellent accuracy but were cheaper than the rest.  Now men, here is where I have some advice.  Spend the extra $3 and get the damn digital pregnancy tests!  Even though the package says "2 pink lines is positive" in our case the second pink line was faint.  Being an inherently skeptical person when it comes to big things, I needed a second test…

The second stick had another faint line!  Now, when it is 9pm on a Sunday and you think your life may have just changed forever, you need that line to be rock solid, not "kinda pink."  I was a little indignant as a consumer, like Ross on "Friends" with his condom freak out…  Only nicer and more supportive.

That evening Rose slept very soundly.  I couldn't sleep to save my life.  My mind was already racing through the scenarios and to-do lists.  Should we stay in our condo or try to buy a home?  Are we really financially ready for a baby?  What can I do to make this experience as easy as possible for Rose?  What about our careers?  If only you could've heard my inner monologue that night.

Needless to say, we were ecstatic.  The next morning she made the call to her doctor and the rest is history.  If nothing else, we will buy the better tests next time.

Give me a more definitive answer!

Background

Before I continue any further, I guess we should take a step back and look at our story.

Rose and I met on match.com in early 2010.  We were both too busy and fed up with the dating scene so we decided to give the online game a try.  It took a 1 sentence e-mail to snag her (she tells the story differently, but I only tell the truth).  After 8 months of dating I realized that this was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  The qualities I love about her are too long to list and I don't want her head to get too big.  Most important is that she challenges me each and every day to be a better man and has infinite confidence in me.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you Rose's occupation; she is a sex therapist.  Pause for reaction…  Her education would intimidate almost anyone.  In all, she holds 4 post graduate degrees to include a PhD and works at a multidisciplinary practice helping couples and individuals suffering from sexual disfunction and other issues.  The field is undergoing an explosion (pun intended) of research and interest and I am proud to say that my wife is a part of the excitement.  I am often asked whether I have issues with her work or reservations about her somehow analyzing our personal life.  The best response I have come up with is: "do you think she would have married me if there were issues?"  Presumptuous, and a little conceited maybe, but it is often taken in the way I mean it - lightheartedly.  

Now, where was I?  We were engaged for another 8 months and wed in the summer of 2012 in San Diego, CA.  The journey of dating to engaged to married is probably another topic for someone else to blog about so I will keep it brief.  The entire journey was one of true maturing on my part.  I am an admittedly "old" person, or so I've been told, so it wasn't maturing in the way many people think.  For me the process seemed like a natural step where I was ready to enjoy what I consider to be the better things in life.  Going out on the town was all well and good, but in my opinion nothing beats a quiet night at home with my wife and having someone to share the little things that make life great.  In hindsight, we were both ready for that next step and I think that made all the difference in the world.

The rest is pretty much history…  Had the fun of joining two households into one.  The experience where she, as politely as possible, told me that my condo needed less college stuff (and apparently more flower stuff).  After about a year of marriage we decided it was time to start "trying."  I call it "pulling the goalie" but she doesn't much appreciate the metaphor.  Our luck must have been strong because within one month she was preggers.  

Engaged

Wedding

Honeymoon

And the rest of our story begins now...

The Beginning

Welcome to my world… One filled with many different roles, responsibilities and stories to share.  I decided to start this blog when I received a couple pieces of exciting news and my life began to change.    I hope to share the journey 2014 (and beyond) will bring and maybe provide some humor in the process.

First, my amazing, smart, beautiful and talented wife Rose (she raises the bar for me every day!) became pregnant last summer. She is due to bring our daughter into this world in March 2014.  I couldn't be happier!  The second piece of exciting news is that I will be making a major career transition in 2014.  After nearly 7 years as an Active Duty Naval Officer, I have decided to go into the Navy Reserve and head back to school.  In December 2013 I was accepted into the University of San Diego School of Business Administration.  I will start working on my MBA in Fall 2014.

With a new baby and school to attend, my life roles will change drastically.  After a great deal of discussion, Rose and I decided that the best move for our family is for me to attend school in the evenings and become a stay at home dad during the day.  This is where the fun begins!  I am about to begin a new adventure, one that I couldn't imagine just a few years ago when I was on the bridge of a destroyer headed west into the sunset.  

I hope to openly share with you the ups and downs of being a stay at home dad.  I will take you through the entire transition and beyond: bringing our baby into the world, those critical first months with my wife at home, the time of transition between careers and into the years of unknown challenges.  Maybe no one will read this, maybe it will be popular, but at a minimum it will serve as a record of the time I spend with my girl.  What else could be more important?

Hopefully my little one won't be embarassed when she reads this later…  On second thought, isn't that one of the perks of being a parent?

My creative wife had a great idea for the announcement!